I Know Someone...
Life can be pretty chaotic and messy. I know that I work hard to not let other people's energy or attitude get to me but let's face it, we all break down and find ourselves swirling with negative thoughts and feeling worn down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Lately, I've been struggling as a parent. There are so many ups and downs as a parent. I feel emotional whiplash constantly. I don't know if I am going to be treated as if I am the greatest person in her life or if I am just a complete and utter failure in her eyes. It is so difficult to love someone as deeply as I love my daughter and to keep myself open and non-defensive when she is in a dark place and saying things that feel like stab wounds to my heart. It's a struggle to not lash out. However, I've cultivated the art of restraint when I am feeling attacked. I feel words have great power so I try to be extremely careful with what I say. That often means being silent while the other person throws their verbal knives at me. I don't want to just react and say something I will regret. I try to remind myself that when I am being verbally attacked, that the other person is not speaking out of love. They are speaking out of fear, shame, anxiety, frustration, and sadness. But oh boy - it is damn hard to always be the "better person".
I subscribe to a few blogs and websites that carry messages that resonate and uplift me. Hands Free Mama Rachel Macy Stafford's blog is a place I will go for some rejuvenation and inspiration. Her latest post included a poem she wrote which was a perfect message for me.
I Know Someone
I know someone going through a hard time. He’s irritable, over reactive, and difficult to be around. That’s grief talking, I remind myself, And my love expands like an umbrella in a downpour.
I know someone going through a hard time. She’s moody and over-the-top dramatic. That’s teen angst talking, I remind myself, And my love settles and steadies like a faithful friend.
I know someone going through a hard time. She’s emotional, fidgety, and anxious. That’s fear talking, I remind myself, And my love whispers to her like a calming prayer.
I know someone going through a hard time. He’s slow, repetitive, and forgetful. That’s growing old talking, I remind myself, And my love supports him like a great oak tree.
I know someone going through a hard time. She’s awkward and sassy. That’s hormones talking, I remind myself, And my love endures like a worn pair of blue jeans.
I know someone going through a hard time. He’s irritable, defensive, and angry. That’s depression talking, I remind myself. And my love breaks through the clouds and warms his face.
It’s not easy to stay close when I want to retreat, To bite my tongue when I want to bite back To empathize when I want to implode. To detect when I want to disassociate But when I do, love does the talking.
And when love speaks, Peace is felt Healing begins Miracles happen in front of us and within us.
It’s a beautiful way to end a long, hard year.
It’s a beautiful way to begin a life of love.
© rachel macy stafford 2017
As we enter into a time when most of us are spending the holidays with family and friends, keep the sentiment of this poem in mind. We are all hoping for a fun and relaxing time together but inevitably, there will be some attitudes that will trigger us. I encourage you to pause before reacting. And when you do respond, come from a place of love and compassion and patience. Let's try to stay connected rather than create deeper divisions.
Peace and love to you all...